Observing Life and Pursuing my Reflections – Past, Future and Present

I’m having the time of my life. And I owe it all to… the opportunity! And grabbing it when it comes my way.

I’m not sure what to write. Everything I will say is based on feelings, shamanic journeying and some research. What I’m writing is not something that the rational people amongst us will be easily buying into.

My entire live I have navigated on intuition. And my intuition is becoming more clear in the last years. It this strong internal voice calling out to me. Often I listen, sometimes I don’t. In the cases I don’t, I mostly stand corrected afterwards, hearing: ‘I told you so.’

I feel its time for really pursuing my reflections, and for observing life, into detail. Past, present and future.

Every morning, I wake up and realize it’s another day, another chance, another opportunity, to create. With full consciousness.

Some days come with magic and wonder, others with hardship and challenge. They all count. Every day is different than the day before, and will be different from the one that follows. And every day, we make choices, that have an effect on the future. We choose, always. You might find that the results of one choice made years ago, suddenly comes back in that very moment. You never know how the choices you make influence your life exactly. And how they develop.

My intuition says something now, and the voice starts to become louder and louder.  It tells me: “Tomorrow, will not be the same as yesterday. In this case, tomorrow will not even remotely be like yesterday. And you have to be ok with it. Because whether you like it or not, it is going to happen.”

Systems have been collapsing over last 10 years, and pretty rapidly in the last 5. They will continue to collapse. Oil prizes will rise, instability in the Middle East will continue and most likely, escalate… Insecurity will get a hold of people. And the unprepared, they will react. At the same time, the unseen will continue to develop: Frequencies are rising. As an alchemist in Spain told me last year: ‘the minerals are shifting energies, nature is preparing itself’. My healer friends tell me: ‘It feels like energetic healing goes faster’. And people respond, massively.

Tomorrow will be different, more different than you imagine.

What is left to do?

Set goals.. But by pursuing goals it means that you have to remain in the present. Goals sometimes make us live in the future, therefore we forget to enjoy the day. Goals are there to pursue, but the action you are taking, should be made in ‘the Now’. Even planning means actively drawing out paths created in ‘the Now’. Life is a blessing, goals mean you have a drive, but don’t forget to enjoy the road there.

Does ‘living the Now’ mean that the past should not be touched upon?

No. You can think of the past. The past created you, shaped you and sustained you. The past is memorable, but does not have to be relived.

For me, it means that I don’t live in nostalgia. I live in gratitude. I’m thankful for the beauty and the pain I have been going through.

The past is not always easy on us. Some people have had more difficult times than others. Everybody made choices, and sometimes it looked like the choices were forced upon them, by being born in a certain situation. Some choices let to horror. People can be very cruel; I don’t think it is something we can deny. But even the periods of horror, they are worth remembering. They  had a reason to be there for you.  But again, remembering doesn’t mean reliving.

Remembering means that you find a lesson in your experiences. When reliving a memory, you are actively feeling it, and you are not processing it from a distance. And it is quite simple: when reliving a memory, the body responds by producing the same chemicals that you produced in that very moment. Meaning that you will feel the same as in the moments of horror. That will stop you from dealing with the actual event. Your body turns back into shock.

Deal with memories, process them.

Some traumas cause people to split their ‘souls’, meaning that a part of the soul left at that very moment the experience happened. After that, a part of your soul is missing, and strange behavior makes up for the loss (seeking satisfaction and fulfillment in drugs, food, control, or relationships). The native Americans call the process of finding this part of the lost soul ‘soul retrieval’. This is a healing technique often executed by shamans in the tribes. I was fortunate enough to witness one very successful soul retrieval.

In more western terms, it means that the human brain found a way to suppress the memory. For the person, it is almost like the situation never happened. If you don’t think about it, you don’t have to deal with it.

However this is pretty dangerous, since you will always carry around memories that you can’t reach with your rational mind. Your subconscious knows and your body knows. Your body responds to your subconscious mind. Don’t forget, your subconscious mind always knows exactly what happened at all times. You store everything you witness in hidden cabinets in the mind. The memories sit there, in order to be released once in a while. What happens when the cabinet gets opened up?

Some circumstances can trigger the memories. And your subconscious mind brings up the memory, without you knowing it. Your body responds, it will produce the chemicals that you were producing in those shocking circumstances. You are reliving the memory, without knowing it. This is also called, reliving the ‘pain-body’. You can suddenly absolutely terrified, nauseous or angry at any given moment in the present. You can feel it in your bones, and you don’t know why. At that moment, you have no control over it. This because the memory is not filed correctly in the database of the brain. It is ignored.

When living suppressed memories, life can become pretty painful. You are never free of suffering. Your decisions will eternally be colored by the past that you have not dealt with.

How does this out itself?

One way to deal with suppressed memories is to create predictability and safety. This means you create a world in which you want to be sure that nothing will remind you of your past. But what are you doing? You are in fact restraining yourself from a full life experience, you are subconsciously afraid, most of the time. As soon as something doesn’t go the way you intend it to go, you loose peace. And seemingly normal happenings, become a threat, because you didn’t plan it. And guess what, most things in life, can’t be planned.  The safety you create is not reality. It is a story you tell yourself. “I’m in control now.” But you are not. You can’t keep your mind  from suppressing memories. So you will never be in control. You are a prisoner of your own past. It will come out one way or they other, because it needs to be dealt with.

By creating your own invented safety, you create your own prison based on unprocessed karma. You are denying yourself a life that could have been richer and more layered, out of fear.

Another way of handling suppressed memories is by unconsciously reliving the situation. Ever met people that complain that they don’t understand why ‘certain things always happen to them’? When an experience seems to repeat itself in life, there is a big chance that there is something behind it that you have to deal with. Abused people very often continue to be abused, but new actors in their lives. They seek for the experience, since they haven’t dealt with the initial trauma.

There is a myriad of ways in which karma can come back. Karma demands you to deal with the past.

You as a human being have a privilege. You are intended to live in freedom. And a big part of being free means that you have to forgive others and yourself. How can you forgive anybody, when you are avoiding or suppressing the memory? How can you process something, when you push the thoughts away?

There are ways not to relive memories, but to deal with them. By living in the present, you prevent yourself from reliving the situation. Stay in the present, take distance from what you were and what happened.  And be ok with the past. Don’t judge. Just observe, understand it was meant to happen, and forgive.

If you have suppressed memories to the extent that you can’t look back yourself, there are various techniques you can use to access your subconscious mind. There are hypnotherapies/NLP techniques available, but there is also indigenous medicine you can take in Latin America. Lately there are ceremonies in which people take this ”medicine” worldwide that help people to deal with traumas and that helps them clear up their past, and clear karma. Another ways is to involve yourself in tantric practices. The ecstasy you create with another being, gives space for bad memories to come back in a safe environment. Tantra is an incorporation of body mind and soul. Don’t be surprised that feelings can come up when in deep sexual intertwinement.

Whatever your method is, your intuition will tell you what is good for you. But do it now.

Again, we live in an interesting time. The frequencies are changing. It is demanded of us that we deal with karma that has been stuck with us on many levels.

I don’t remember ever have lived in a time with more chaos around me than today. It seems like everybody is suddenly dealing with their past, wondering about their future and people seem awkward with the present

And its all alright, it’s the right time for it.

The future brings a certain instability that requires us to be at peace with ourselves. We have a choice: remain in our karma, reliving the past tirelessly, or clear it up, make space for new experiences. Its intended to be like this, the frequencies are rising, energies are changing in order for us to quickly access past karma. It’s a cleaning process and the earthly energy is the catalyst.

So now (and preferably you started a while ago) is the time to deal with inner turmoil. External turmoil is much easier to deal with when you are a calm ocean yourself. When oil prices rize, when certain expectations aren’t met, when the ‘normal’ suddenly isn’t normal any longer, where do you stand? Do you rely on the outer world for your happiness still, or do you trust yourself?

I always believed universal timing is perfect. Don’t our lives often look like a perfect puzzle? Why did some things happen in certain moments? Why did you loose your job right at that moment that you found this amazing opportunity to devote your life to? Why did experiences cross your path when you were just strong enough? That is because coincidences are never really coincidences. You navigate, set your own pace. You can also choose to deal with things, or to keep on pushing them back. But remember, by pushing away, you create longer suffering than necessary. In the end, some things have to be faced.

It’s the right time to get rid of karma. And circumstances are perfect for it. But don’t expect it to be easy, or wonderful. The harder things are usually saved for last. But in the end, its all alright, it’s a good time to purify ourselves of unwanted luggage, and the world around us will do the same.

The native Americans these times the ‘time of purification’ followed by the third shaking of the earth. Western world calls it the apocalypse (westerners love drama), the Mayans simply stopped with 2012. But things continue. And I call it perfection. But you have a choice. Are your ready to get rid of some exessive luggage? Its a good time for looking inwards. Outwards will come later. There is a greater plan behind everything. But you have the choice to create your own destiny.